I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?
Anonymous

licoriceplease:

homolesbians:

i-do-it-for-the-lesbians:

xekstrin:

mylife-beliike:

i-do-it-for-the-lesbians:

ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE

This kills me every time

"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"

if this gets to 200k I will make “tiffany you useless lesbian” tshirts 😂

And in that moment, we were all Tiffany

where’s my shirt

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

(via theguyingrey)

1 day ago 117,817 notes

hecallsmepineappleprincess:

I died laughing for 8 million years

(via theguyingrey)

1 day ago 324,492 notes

meladoodle:

follow the yolo brick road

(via bastille)

1 day ago 156,261 notes

britishtoatea:

I have literally been waiting for this gifset for all time

(via theguyingrey)

1 day ago 137,456 notes

(via theguyingrey)

1 day ago 52,641 notes

(via h-ella)

1 day ago 64,958 notes

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

steampoweredsass:

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

image

WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

(via theguyingrey)

1 day ago 196,880 notes

sobersexting:

babyferaligator:

BLIND PEOPLE CANT SEE NUDES 

image

(via happiest)

1 day ago 86,671 notes

radsturbate:

i lost 2 followers after posting those pictures of myself um? why are you unfollowing me you’re welcome for bringing my beauty into your life

(via thefreshprinceofbel-air)

1 day ago 9 notes

greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

(via happiest)

1 day ago 239,765 notes

"If you can see a future without me and that doesn’t break your heart then we’re not doing what I thought we were doing here."

- That 70’s Show (via temperare-te)

(via thefreshprinceofbel-air)

1 day ago 53,609 notes

"The hours between 12am and 6am
have a funny habit of making you feel
like you’re either on top of the world,
or under it."

- Beau Taplin || the hours between.  (via afadthatlastsforever)

(via cubancigarr)

1 day ago 299,751 notes

(via cubancigarr)

1 day ago 283,348 notes

"I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low. I’m trying to live. I’m not trying to convince the world I have life."

- Unknown  (via intensional)

(via cubancigarr)

1 day ago 131,781 notes